Drops of Wisdom...

Drops of Wisdom...

• God is real, unless declared integer
• Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.
• Everyone should have a Husband, because there are a number of things that go wrong that one can't blame on the government.
• Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
• Home is where the television is.
• The evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
• Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.
• Death is hereditary.
• There are three sides to every argument: your side,my side and the right side.
• An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
• Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
• Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
• When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
• Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Jus tlike everyone else.
• Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.
• Well done is better than well said.
• They say hard work never hurt anybody, but why take the chance.
• Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
• You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
• I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
• If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
• The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train.
• Where there's a will there are five hundred relatives.
• Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
• LUCK...stands for Labouring under Correct Knowledge

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.